Sunday Poem

Out on the Borderline




I walk outside my body

The mirror creates

What I think

I ought to be



I feel so young

In this burdensome image

Seduction is my draw

I will you in and suck you through my pores



I mean no harm

But I feel nothing

If not for jealousy

and abandonment



I am angry

At all those that began

My ascent into hell

And the surefire continuation of my greatest fears



I believe you

When you say you love me

And will protect me at any cost

The price I paid for the sacrifices made, incalculable



I am the perpetual victim

Losing what is left of myself

In the chaos

Of my frenzied hunt for recognition and lasting attention



Put me in your arms

Keep me safe

Through the days and nights

Of my own disasterous plight



I love you- you are everything

I hate you- you are only an object of my manipulation

You all get caught up in my seeming vulnerabilities

But then you disappoint



I have no alternative

But to slice you up

With venomous chops

As my empty insides never get filled