Security

In a vault somewhere
Deep within a hidden cell
Secured by guards
Both night and day
Locked in a tiny box
Obscurely disguised
Wrapped in sound proof paper
Under lock and key
And internal security
Lye the words you want to say
But are so afraid to speak
Not knowing who will listen
Or judge
Or anger
Or abandon you

Keep it all hushed up
Your truth is of no consequence,
Or so you believe
Conjecturing with conviction
You will neither be understood
Nor trusted
Nor loved
The hush of your silence
Keeping you so safe
From being known
Or understood
Or really loved.

So do not breathe a word
For fear
It will take your breath away
And isolate your thoughts
For ever more
Convinced
To keep the monk’s oath of silence
Never expressing who you are
Or what you need
Taking it to the grave.

Treason

Sad, Sad
When we have to say good bye
In a snipers clutch
Those we thought that loved us
Family as it’s called
Hacksaws off your branch
And you are not sure exactly what happened
Everything you did and said out of love
Has been spun in so many ways
As if the parent had been unremarkable
In influencing their child’s emotional well-being in the world
And the child is stuck so deep in primitive evil
There ends up being no airspace
Large enough to breathe
Simply gasp in disbelief
That a time could come
When the old world saying
“You are dead to me”
Becomes so well understood
There is no retort
Only retreat
So far away from justifying
Your own good deeds.

When We Lose Our Friends To Death

When we lose our friends
To Death
The world becomes smaller
There is less opportunity
To connect with those
We really can relate to
We quiet a few notches
Closing off some of the doorways
That were brightly open
We reflect and recall
But it makes the pain greater
The ribs are stuck, clammy and breathless
As we contemplate
Our own eventual demise
But for now, if only we could track
Our dear friend
There is no GPS that is that accurate
So we truly wonder where they are off to
Wishing them the best
But missing the trusting interactions
That brought safety and comfort to our lives

The Kabbalah says

“Some say unless a wrong is avenged there can be no peace.
But what if there can be no peace unless the wrong is forgiven?”
For giv ing-
“to give ongoing”
The meaning is quite different
When broken down
Or rather clearly discerned
So how do we let go
Of anger and rage and disappointment, hopelessness and betrayal
By Giving-
Not a hard time, nor hatred or loathing nor gossip
By giving love
In thought and deed
To those who have hurt us so deeply
Perhaps they will grow
In their understanding
Of what they had not properly taken care of
Then, in turn,
They will be free to give.

Watching From The Side Lines

Watching from the side lines
In your own neighborhood
Watching from the side lines
So misunderstood

Doesn’t anyone get you
Like an old crackley film reel
Specks of time missing
Not sure how it all makes you feel

Watching from the side lines
Your house is not your home
Is the only place to be yourself
Watching from the sidelines

Ideas come and lovers go
Age tosses you to the weather
There grows a cemented concept
That everything must be forever

Watching from the side lines
Amazing moments
Are just a plexi glass away
Watching from the side lines

Change

Why would we change
To exchange
The known for the
Unknown
The comfortable old shoe
With the holes in the bottom
Is oh, so much softer
Than to walk around
As someone new.

What makes the difference, then
To want to explore
To be so much more
In the evolutionary journey
Called human existence
From a blank slate
To an encyclopedia of madness
Along the many twists and turns
In our thinking and appraisals
And introspective dashes

Change is kinda like gum
Stuck on the bottom of your shoe
And you pull and you twist
Trying to coax the gum away
But you already know
That you already have been stretched
And you can’t chew the cud forever
There are so many more steps
To learn to the dance

Life is a bouquet
Of joy and color
New beginnings
And wilting reminders
Of leaves that cracked brittle
Like the crash of a whip
While Change is laughing
From the rooftop
Having caught you
Trying to seal your fate
With naieveate
That bouquet will stay beautiful forever



Change is thrust upon one
Like a speeding train
When you were just care freely
Skipping down the tracks
More often, though
It is the end of an era
You are banned by and from
All that matters
You are told in no uncertain terms
Give it up, or you will be alone
So many addictions can present
An arguable case
Until abandonment fears step in
And we Must, step out.

Of Those That Love The Rager

Rage is a four letter word
Filled with fire and ice
Darts and daggers
Piercing words
Jettisoning through the hearts
Of those that love the rager
Despite the rage
Somehow convincing themselves
That what they know lies beneath
Perceived during those glimmers of kindness
Then abruptly bundled in self protection
In a world the rager learned was cold and unyielding.
Of those that love the rager
They still believe in Santa Claus
That the jolliness can be resurrected
Despite a cold, icy, flat tundra
As far as the eye can see.